Sunday, March 14, 2010


Siblings.....some are close.  Some are not so close.  In  my family, they are not so close.  The trouble in some families bring siblings closer.  The trouble in other families tear siblings apart.  My siblings have been torn apart.  I have 4 brothers and 3 sisters and we have never been in the same room together.  Granted, part of the reason for that is because Susie, sister #8, had been put up for adoption at birth and we didn't know about her until a few years ago (see previous blog!).  But the others and I have not been in the same room together since 1972.  At my Grandma Trout's right after my mother's funeral.  Thirty-eight years ago.  And this year is the first year in a long time that I even know where all of my siblings are living.  Which brings me to the reason for this post.

My brother Tom was the most often "missing' one of the family.  He would come back into my life every few years for a little while and then disappear again.  This was hard - very hard - on me.  He is 2 years younger than me and at one time we were very close.  We worked together at Sonic.  We ran away from home together once.  We drank beer together in the parking lot of the bowling alley.  We watched out for each other.  He lived with me after I got married.  He lived with my daughter and me after a divorce.  One of my best Christmas memories came from the Christmas of that year.  Silly String!  And then change came.  He went one way and I went another.  But I never stopped loving him and wondering how and what he was doing.

Tommy came back into my life about a month ago after being gone for about 5 years.  There was a time a couple of years ago that we talked on the phone, but that time he was gone just as quickly as he appeared. I used to call his phone number every couple of months, leaving messages, telling him I loved him, until the new owner of that number called me and let me know there was no Tommy at the other end! When I had last spoken with him, he had told me he was having health issues.  As his sister, I worried.  As I believer in Christ, I pray for him.  Now he is back and his health issues have escalated to the possibility of needing a heart transplant.  He is younger than me......he is not supposed to be having these problems!  When I first heard about this from him, I went numb.  Me, who has spent 90% of my life crying, couldn't (or wouldn't) cry.  That changed tonight when I read his blog and the reality of it hit me.  My baby brother has heart problems and may need a heart transplant.  I cried and I am crying as I write this.  It is not supposed to be this way!  This is not what I had planned!  But then, life never is, is it?

So, I will cry and I will pray.  And I will trust that God is God and He is the One I can lean on.  Knowing that His word is real and I trust that what He says will be, will be.  Lord, I lay this one in your hands!