So, I am at work. The phone is ringing off the wall. Well, it would be if it were on the wall! A co-worker is IM'ing from CA. My cellphone is vibrating at me....2 text messages from 2 different people. I have Yahoo Messenger up on my computer. Two people are IM'ing and there is someone yelling for me from the front room. (I work from home.) Wait...there's a new voice mail on my cell and on my work answering machine. I am on the phone & I am at work!
When did I become a slave to these machines that have on and off buttons? And why do I think I have to answer each one of these right now? I remember going to work to rest and get away from everyone.....nobody dared call me at work. And why do I let it get to me? After all, I just need to turn off my phone, shut down the Yahoo Messenger and tell the person yelling for me that I am at work and can't be disturbed.
I truly don't understand people who get a rush out of this kind of stuff. I've heard it called living off the adrenaline. That is entirely too much adrenaline for me......I'll take a valium, please. They must need to feel wanted. I do too, but to me it's just too much pressure. After all, don't I control each and every one of these machines? When did they begin to control me? Well, OK, I do have to answer the work phone and the work IM, but c'mon...the rest are just going to have to wait!
So tomorrow, I'm going to turn on my computer and nothing else. I don't need my cell phone at work. I don't need Yahoo messenger at work. I don't need it!
I'm sure there is an off button on my cell....where in the world is it?!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
BROTHERS & SISTERS
Siblings.....some are close. Some are not so close. In my family, they are not so close. The trouble in some families bring siblings closer. The trouble in other families tear siblings apart. My siblings have been torn apart. I have 4 brothers and 3 sisters and we have never been in the same room together. Granted, part of the reason for that is because Susie, sister #8, had been put up for adoption at birth and we didn't know about her until a few years ago (see previous blog!). But the others and I have not been in the same room together since 1972. At my Grandma Trout's right after my mother's funeral. Thirty-eight years ago. And this year is the first year in a long time that I even know where all of my siblings are living. Which brings me to the reason for this post.
My brother Tom was the most often "missing' one of the family. He would come back into my life every few years for a little while and then disappear again. This was hard - very hard - on me. He is 2 years younger than me and at one time we were very close. We worked together at Sonic. We ran away from home together once. We drank beer together in the parking lot of the bowling alley. We watched out for each other. He lived with me after I got married. He lived with my daughter and me after a divorce. One of my best Christmas memories came from the Christmas of that year. Silly String! And then change came. He went one way and I went another. But I never stopped loving him and wondering how and what he was doing.
Tommy came back into my life about a month ago after being gone for about 5 years. There was a time a couple of years ago that we talked on the phone, but that time he was gone just as quickly as he appeared. I used to call his phone number every couple of months, leaving messages, telling him I loved him, until the new owner of that number called me and let me know there was no Tommy at the other end! When I had last spoken with him, he had told me he was having health issues. As his sister, I worried. As I believer in Christ, I pray for him. Now he is back and his health issues have escalated to the possibility of needing a heart transplant. He is younger than me......he is not supposed to be having these problems! When I first heard about this from him, I went numb. Me, who has spent 90% of my life crying, couldn't (or wouldn't) cry. That changed tonight when I read his blog and the reality of it hit me. My baby brother has heart problems and may need a heart transplant. I cried and I am crying as I write this. It is not supposed to be this way! This is not what I had planned! But then, life never is, is it?
So, I will cry and I will pray. And I will trust that God is God and He is the One I can lean on. Knowing that His word is real and I trust that what He says will be, will be. Lord, I lay this one in your hands!
My brother Tom was the most often "missing' one of the family. He would come back into my life every few years for a little while and then disappear again. This was hard - very hard - on me. He is 2 years younger than me and at one time we were very close. We worked together at Sonic. We ran away from home together once. We drank beer together in the parking lot of the bowling alley. We watched out for each other. He lived with me after I got married. He lived with my daughter and me after a divorce. One of my best Christmas memories came from the Christmas of that year. Silly String! And then change came. He went one way and I went another. But I never stopped loving him and wondering how and what he was doing.
Tommy came back into my life about a month ago after being gone for about 5 years. There was a time a couple of years ago that we talked on the phone, but that time he was gone just as quickly as he appeared. I used to call his phone number every couple of months, leaving messages, telling him I loved him, until the new owner of that number called me and let me know there was no Tommy at the other end! When I had last spoken with him, he had told me he was having health issues. As his sister, I worried. As I believer in Christ, I pray for him. Now he is back and his health issues have escalated to the possibility of needing a heart transplant. He is younger than me......he is not supposed to be having these problems! When I first heard about this from him, I went numb. Me, who has spent 90% of my life crying, couldn't (or wouldn't) cry. That changed tonight when I read his blog and the reality of it hit me. My baby brother has heart problems and may need a heart transplant. I cried and I am crying as I write this. It is not supposed to be this way! This is not what I had planned! But then, life never is, is it?
So, I will cry and I will pray. And I will trust that God is God and He is the One I can lean on. Knowing that His word is real and I trust that what He says will be, will be. Lord, I lay this one in your hands!
Friday, March 5, 2010
SUSIE, HERE'S TO YOU!
Six years ago today - March 5, 2004 - I got a new little sister. Now, I have grandchildren, so this was no easy feat! And she truly is my sister. We have the same blood as well as having the same mom and dad as our six other brothers and sisters. So, how did it happen, you ask? Well, Mary Ann, as I knew her in 1966 was baby number eight. And, according to my parents who came home empty handed from the hospital, she died of heart problems. Turns out that Susie - as we know her now - did not die. Our parents put her up for adoption. And Susie had been looking for us for about 18 years. And on March 5, 2004, she finally found us. On another sister's 40th birthday!
I remember when my brother Aaron called to tell me the news. At first I couldn't figure out what he was telling me. Was he dating a girl named Mary Ann? How funny, I thought.....that was my mother's name as well as my sister's name. Believe it or not, the sister who died was often on my mind. No, no! I finally understood! Our sister, Mary Ann, who we thought had died at birth, was alive! She had called him and her name was now Susie. Wow....just amazing. But you know what? I knew from the moment I talked to her on the phone that she was my sister. No doubt about it....no doubt at all.
According to older members of our family, my mother's twin sister for instance, no one knew that Susie had been put up for adoption. My mother had died in 1972, taking the secret to her grave. My father did the same in 2002. I know now why my father had that far-away look in his eye the day I said "No, Dad, you have 8 kids! Remember Mary Ann, who died?" What those words must have stirred up inside of him.
We talked for quite a while that first night. And there was no doubt she was a Johnson. She sounded like us! She emailed me a picture of herself and I remember I just about fell over when I saw her picture. My first thought was that she looked just like me in that picture. Amazing! Once I met her though, I realized how much she looked like my mother. A very pretty lady.
And it was mind-boggling how Susie had the mannerisms that I had always attributed to the Johnson's. A wave of the hand. That sense of humor. The way she stood. The way she sat. It was incredible! And the other similarities - she had a son named Aaron. She now had a brother named Aaron. She had adopted three children. One of my sisters had adopted one child. She had grown up across the state from us. Her first job was at Sonic. So was mine! And Tommy's! She was bright! As are all the Johnson's! She was shorter than me! Yes.....finally, I was no longer the shortest sister! Being the oldest sister, I really thought I should be the tallest girl. A dream come true.....well, almost. I guess the other two will always be taller than me!
I'm glad that Susie came into my life. She is an amazing woman and she has an amazing family. I would like to stay in touch with her better than I do, but you know, I keep in touch with Susie as much as I do anyone else in my family. One thing about us Johnson kids - we all tend to be loners. How in the world did that happen in a family the size of ours!?
Susie, I just wanted to say, you have filled a void in my life - that empty number eight space. For which I will always be grateful. I may not get in touch with you much, but know I love you. I will always remember our first canoe trip! What a blast that day was! And I will always remember my first horse ride as an adult - it was with you, at our brother Kurt's house. How fun was that?! And I will always remember trying on hats with you...what a hoot!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
IT IS FINISHED
"It is finished." John 19:30 (NKJV) Some of the last words of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, before He was crucified. I'm not sure I had a good understanding of those words until today. I had a Facebook conversation with a friend - someone I've never met. But because Jesus was the center of the conversation, I began to look at these words closer. The incredible thing is that these words were never mentioned. But I know that in my Spirit I heard "What about these words - "It is finished?".
The definition of "finished" is: 1. Ended or completed. 2. Completed or perfected in all details. 3. Polished to the highest degree of excellence. "Polished" means flawless, skillful, excellent.
It is finished. It is completed. It is perfected. It is polished. It is excellent. It is flawless. It is Jesus. He is perfected and nothing can be more excellent that Him. If I know and believe in my heart that He said these words, I then need to believe that what He says He means. And since he meant that, He also meant it when He said "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." John 3:17 (NKJV) So, I do believe that He meant it. The world might be saved. Through Him. Through His acts. Not through me. Not through my acts.
He finished "it" for me and you (He died that I might have life, if I choose to accept it) but He is not "finished" with me yet. There is still something I can do, if I want. I will actively live while believing His words. I do this by praising Him for what He has already finished, completed, perfected, and polished to the highest degree of excellence. I will continue to praise Him until I see the evidence of that which I believe in my heart He did on the cross. I am evidence of it. I am seeing evidence of it in my daughter, Chantel. She has turned her heart to Jesus and I see her teaching her children about Jesus. Evidence of what He said and did. Because He was thinking of her that day. And because He was thinking about you that day. And I continue to praise Him after seeing the evidence. Because I want to praise Him. After all, He gave me life!
As I read this over, I am getting other levels of understanding. I knew that would happen! This is the way the Holy Spirit works - always teaching, always wooing, always saying "hey, look at it this way!".
Jesus said it. Did I truly believe it? In my heart? Do I believe those words that He said while He hung there on the cross, bleeding out, dying, thinking of you and me? He came that we might have life. He died that we might have life. Did I believe it? Do I believe it now? My Jesus does not lie and He does not speak lightly. Yes, I believed it, but that conversation today led me to a higher level of understanding and belief. I believe it and understand it deeper now. Even as He died, He lived....and we are polished to the highest degree of excellence. We just have to believe it. It is finished.
The definition of "finished" is: 1. Ended or completed. 2. Completed or perfected in all details. 3. Polished to the highest degree of excellence. "Polished" means flawless, skillful, excellent.
It is finished. It is completed. It is perfected. It is polished. It is excellent. It is flawless. It is Jesus. He is perfected and nothing can be more excellent that Him. If I know and believe in my heart that He said these words, I then need to believe that what He says He means. And since he meant that, He also meant it when He said "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." John 3:17 (NKJV) So, I do believe that He meant it. The world might be saved. Through Him. Through His acts. Not through me. Not through my acts.
He finished "it" for me and you (He died that I might have life, if I choose to accept it) but He is not "finished" with me yet. There is still something I can do, if I want. I will actively live while believing His words. I do this by praising Him for what He has already finished, completed, perfected, and polished to the highest degree of excellence. I will continue to praise Him until I see the evidence of that which I believe in my heart He did on the cross. I am evidence of it. I am seeing evidence of it in my daughter, Chantel. She has turned her heart to Jesus and I see her teaching her children about Jesus. Evidence of what He said and did. Because He was thinking of her that day. And because He was thinking about you that day. And I continue to praise Him after seeing the evidence. Because I want to praise Him. After all, He gave me life!
As I read this over, I am getting other levels of understanding. I knew that would happen! This is the way the Holy Spirit works - always teaching, always wooing, always saying "hey, look at it this way!".
Jesus said it. Did I truly believe it? In my heart? Do I believe those words that He said while He hung there on the cross, bleeding out, dying, thinking of you and me? He came that we might have life. He died that we might have life. Did I believe it? Do I believe it now? My Jesus does not lie and He does not speak lightly. Yes, I believed it, but that conversation today led me to a higher level of understanding and belief. I believe it and understand it deeper now. Even as He died, He lived....and we are polished to the highest degree of excellence. We just have to believe it. It is finished.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
My Bible leads me to my Friend
I picked up my Life Application Bible (LAB) the other day. It was the first study Bible I owned and it was given to me by the women’s group of the church I attended at the time. The back cover is no longer attached and the maps and concordance are falling out as well. I keep saying I'm going to get some red duct tape and fix it, but never have! The LAB is the one I read / studied when I first came to know Jesus as my Lord, not just my Savior. It has pages that are tear-stained, crumbled, and torn! I have written in it in all different colors of ink - it was a system at one time, I’m sure. And although I no longer use this Bible on a daily basis, it is still a source of life for me.
I had an overwhelming urge to go through a box of stuff on Thursday and ran across my Spirit Filled Life Bible and noticed that the same thing is beginning to happen to this Bible as well. The spine is broken and pages, although not falling out, are not as attached as they once were. I've had this Bible almost as long as the LAB. Memories came in like a flood – oh, the things I learned while reading this Bible. Here too, I found the man I eventually fell in love with – Jesus Christ. I smiled contently as I opened it, knowing I had just picked up an old friend.
I have several other Bibles as well and each of them has a different part of my life attached. Some are well used and some, well, let's just say we're getting to know each other! There’s the NKJV I received for my birthday a couple of years ago. It’s the first one that a friend actually wrote in – even if I did have to make him! I haven’t seen him since as he was moving to Virginia that day. It is the Bible I take to church with me and I am reminded to pray for him because of his gift. And I have a Message Bible. This is the one in which my granddaughter Mallory wrote a message just for me in the midst of the Psalms! She also found the maps and drew roads leading to Kansas and Kentucky…..right there in the middle of Israel and the Middle East! I smile when I see the evidence of God!
The outside of the Bibles are different, some showing signs of age and wear & tear, and yet all of them have one thing in common – they direct me to the One I need.
If I am in trouble - “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29: 11. He’s thinking of me…of you…right now! And He has plans to give me a future and hope?! How cool is that?!
If I want words with which to praise Jesus Christ, I can open any Bible to the Psalms and praise Him with words from the psalmist. “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!” Psalm 150:6. Hey, I have breath! I will praise the Lord!!
Am I feeling unloved? Song of Songs 4:9 says “You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes…”. I and yes, you, have stolen the heart of Jesus! Believe it, it is real!
Am I sick? Look at Isaiah 53:5 “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him. And by His stripes we are healed.” Life giving words! We are healed!
All this to say – my Bible is a friend. But each time I open it I find my real Friend, who is my Savior, my Lord, my Healer, my Provider, my Lover, my God. And the list goes on and on……
Thursday, February 4, 2010
OK, let me tell you about me.....
Hi! My name is Greta. And I am God's daughter. And I am just trying to serve this Jesus with whom I am in love. He has had my heart for quite a while now and for this I am eternally grateful and humbled. Song of Solomon 4:9 "You have captured my heart, my sister, my spouse; with one look of your eyes, with one link of your necklace." If only I would quit taking my heart back from him.....this Jesus.....who died for me on that cross on Calvary. I'm still learning and His grace is enough for me to continue on the path with Him. I am also the mother of a beautiful young woman who has three children of her own. Me - a grandmother? Yep, it happened...but I don't know how because I sure don't feel old enough to be a grandmother!
In 2006 I left the confines of my hometown and decided to see what was on the other side of Highway 69. I first ended up in Utah, spending just a few months. While there I took my trip of a lifetime (so far) by going to Jerusalem, Israel. I spent almost three weeks there. Then on to Missouri (next door to my home state of Kansas) for just a few weeks. I had this burning desire...which I knew was driven by God...to go help out with disaster relief in Mississippi. I ended up in Gulfport, MS volunteering and ministering with God's Katrina Kitchen. Absolutely amazing! I was there for 14 months. If you ever have a chance to do disaster relief....jump on it! But beware....it will ruin you for the ordinary!
Next stop was California. As Dickens penned, it was the "best of times, the worst of times". One thing about Jesus...he made sure that I knew He was close and caught me when I felt like my world had been swept out from under my feet. Actually, it had been and that was a very good thing! But I sure didn't know that then. I do now. And I love Him for saving me. However, I did meet some of the most amazing people out there and some of them will forever be my brothers and sisters! After that? Well, on to Galveston, TX to do disaster relief with Cavalry for Christ, a sister of God's Katrina Kitchen. I was only there for a few months. Left there not knowing where I was going and ended up a few weeks later in Kentucky, where I am right now. I came here for a week and never left!
I am working full-time and also volunteering for God's Kitchen, Inc. We are in the beginning stages of the next vision.....HIS House. HIS House is a school in Kentucky that we are going to refurbish to use as a distribution center, volunteer center, disaster relief training facility and God-willing, a place to house orphans from Haiti that need a place to grow in peace after their country was devastated by the earthquake on January 12, 2010. It will be a Christ-centered school and the children will be raised to know Jesus Christ and will be able to make their own decisions about Him. And then we hope they will return to Haiti in the strength of Jesus Christ and be the leaders that God will grow them up to be. Hey, if you want want to help out just log on to www.godskitcheninc.org. That website will be up and running shortly and will be full of information about us.
I don't know how good I will be at keeping this blog. Hopefully it will be updated at a steady pace. But then again, maybe not! Hope you like it here!
Numbers 6:25: the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
In Christ,
Greta
In 2006 I left the confines of my hometown and decided to see what was on the other side of Highway 69. I first ended up in Utah, spending just a few months. While there I took my trip of a lifetime (so far) by going to Jerusalem, Israel. I spent almost three weeks there. Then on to Missouri (next door to my home state of Kansas) for just a few weeks. I had this burning desire...which I knew was driven by God...to go help out with disaster relief in Mississippi. I ended up in Gulfport, MS volunteering and ministering with God's Katrina Kitchen. Absolutely amazing! I was there for 14 months. If you ever have a chance to do disaster relief....jump on it! But beware....it will ruin you for the ordinary!
Next stop was California. As Dickens penned, it was the "best of times, the worst of times". One thing about Jesus...he made sure that I knew He was close and caught me when I felt like my world had been swept out from under my feet. Actually, it had been and that was a very good thing! But I sure didn't know that then. I do now. And I love Him for saving me. However, I did meet some of the most amazing people out there and some of them will forever be my brothers and sisters! After that? Well, on to Galveston, TX to do disaster relief with Cavalry for Christ, a sister of God's Katrina Kitchen. I was only there for a few months. Left there not knowing where I was going and ended up a few weeks later in Kentucky, where I am right now. I came here for a week and never left!
I am working full-time and also volunteering for God's Kitchen, Inc. We are in the beginning stages of the next vision.....HIS House. HIS House is a school in Kentucky that we are going to refurbish to use as a distribution center, volunteer center, disaster relief training facility and God-willing, a place to house orphans from Haiti that need a place to grow in peace after their country was devastated by the earthquake on January 12, 2010. It will be a Christ-centered school and the children will be raised to know Jesus Christ and will be able to make their own decisions about Him. And then we hope they will return to Haiti in the strength of Jesus Christ and be the leaders that God will grow them up to be. Hey, if you want want to help out just log on to www.godskitcheninc.org. That website will be up and running shortly and will be full of information about us.
I don't know how good I will be at keeping this blog. Hopefully it will be updated at a steady pace. But then again, maybe not! Hope you like it here!
Numbers 6:25: the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;
In Christ,
Greta
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